Dean's World

Yes, I still like American Idol. I'm just exhausted tonight and have a big interview tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Meantime, feel free to post your own reactions to AI here. If you care to.

(Why yes, we do discuss weighty issues like the Eastern and Western Canon, the role of religious pluralism in modern affairs, the role of women and men throughout history, the current state of Peer Review in the scientific world, worldwide oppression, Solzhenitsyn, Edward Said, Bernard Lewis, and American Idol and Battlestar Galactica here. Why do you ask?)

I'm still too distracted--I have another interview on Friday--but tonight's episode proved once again that the men are basically wasting our time on American Idol this year. Aren't they?

Pick two guys and 10 women and let's get the competition started! (They won't do that, but they should.)

More detailed blogging next week, probably. Feel free to post your own comments otherwise.

*Update*: Oh, except, Melinda Doolittle? Can I take her home and make her sing for me every day? Man she's all kinds of awesome.

Well I'm not surprised by any of the results, although I'm mildly disappointed in a couple of the final choices.

Now the show gets genuinely interesting. To me anyway.

Post your thoughts here.

I give up.

The men are mostly wasting our time.

Can we please just give Melinda Doolittle the title?

(More links later, feel free to post your own thoughts in the meantime.)

Brandon Rogers goes home.

His career as a backup singer will no doubt be massively enhanced by the experience. And no, that's not a cheap shot, it's true.

I won't be blogging song-by-song until my laptop gets back from the shop. But that was a much better episode last night wasn't it? Pretty much everyone was better than last week.

Of course, it doesn't hurt that I love that British Invasion stuff.

I will say, though, that "Sanjaya sings the Kinks" is about like saying "Kermit the Frog sings I Can't Get No Satisfaction."

Everything is screwed up. It's so horrible, I can barely get up in the morning. This once-great country of ours lies in ruins. I sob in my coffee cup as I roll out of bed and look at the barren wasteland. I burst into tears when I see the utter depravity all around me. The evil BushHitler Machine and the Neocons and the Global Warming and the Democratic Congress and the Muslim invaders and the Fundamentalist Christians and the atheists have destroyed it all beyond redemption. Plus the corporations and the big government.

The Constitution lies in tatters. The Bible has been obliterated. The flag smells of dog poop. Justice is destroyed. Piles of burning bodies lie all around me as I struggle just to shave my cheeks in my bathroom mirror. Murder, rape, and pillage are all around me as I step outside my door on my way to work, as the roving bands of gay-killers and other Xtianists seek to destroy everything that moves. Even if I should manage to escape death during my soul-destroying 12 hour commute to my 280 hour a week job, I must cope at the end of it all with with the body collectors yelling "Bring Out Your Dead!" when I get out of my car and step over the rubble into my inadequate house every night, where my harpy shrew wife awaits to yell at me yet again that I forgot to take out the trash this morning--and I wail in agony and rend my garments.

Truly, these are the darkest days of doom and shame and destruction this once-beautiful country has ever seen. I do not know how any of us will be able to survive to next week.

Our only salvation seems to lie in the hope that Sanjaya might be voted off of American Idol tonight. Otherwise, mass suicide is probably the only sane option left to any of us in this increasingly insane world.

*Update*: Did I mention that our once-precious civil liberties have been utterly annihilated, along with our freedom of thought and our love of God? And the rampant destruction wrought by the feminists and the homosexualists and the rethuglican thought police? I'm sure I should have mentioned that somewhere. Between the Nazism and the Communism and Masculism that afflict us every day, it's amazing that I could even post this tiny glint of truth on this weblog.

*Update 2*: Sanjaya has moved on to the next round, while Stephanie Edwards was (surprisingly, in my view) sent home. As always, I blame the Jews.

Still behind on the game.

Feel free to post your thoughts here.

Here are my notes on last night's American Idol, more or less as I wrote them.

Tony Bennet night eh? Well that should be fun. I've never been a big fan of his work but he surely understands the American Songbook. Some of these singers can't possibly sing that kind of music though, can they?

Well that was a very entertaining night. Almost every performance was good. People stepped up and delivered performances I didn't think they were capable of.

Prediction: I can't predict this year, the results constantly surprise me. I'm shocked to see that Dial Idol has Gina, Jordin, Haley, and Lakisha on the bottom. I hope that's not accurate. Sanjaya or Phil should be going home.

So Gina goes home.

I'm not exactly shocked, but I am disappointed.

Dial Idol is a little less accurate this year isn't it? Interesting.

*Update*: Hahahahahaahaha!!!

Here are my notes on last night's AI, more or less as I wrote them while watching:

Hmm. Jennifer Lopez this week? I guess it's all going to be latin music. Well that should be fun.

Predictions: I'm bad at predicting this year but I have a notion that usually by this point everyone's established a certain fan base and the strength of that fan base will get them through. So it wouldn't surprise me if we get a surprise with who's going home tonight, like a Lakisha or a Jordin or Chris. Why? Haley's got the "we like hot chicks" crowd, Blake's got the male vocalist title wrapped up already, Melinda is clearly the best of the black girls, and Sanjaya is... [shudder] just not going home. He's got the teeny bopper vote sewed up, and the "vote for the worst" people.

Under that theory, the Dial Idol predictions don't look strange to me.

Well, I guess short-shorts don't always win the day.

I confess, I really have no predictive powers this year.

I'm sorry I missed last night. I was busy.

Sanjaya goes home! Yes! There is a God!!!!

I may post something tomorrow before work but I'm not sure I'll have time. I'm still enjoying American Idol (and still laugh at people who smirk at that, as if enjoying a singing competition is worthy of condescension, but enjoying a sports game or something is totally okay).

Anyway, feel free to post your own thoughts here tonight one way or the other.

Me, I'm thinking of becoming a Mormon just so I can make Melinda my second wife. I'm sure The Queen won't mind....

By the way, yes, tomorrow night when the results are announced I will almost certainly post it here. If you don't want to know the results, then don't read. I hate playing the whole "hide it" game. You're adults, you make your choices.

This was probably the best AI of the season. John Bon Jovi was the mentor and the contestants had to sing a Bon Jovi song. Well, I know what you might be thinking. Half of you are thinking how on earth can Bon Jovi nite be good? The other half are thinking what can be better than a Bon Jovi nite?

I was thinking that this show was gonna suck. Straight to suckville, directly to suckville, no passing Go and no collecting $200.

I was wrong.

There is good news and bad news. The good news is that one contestant was clearly and unequivocally crummy. The bad news? Two of them are going home.

This week, I disagreed with Simon upwards of three times and that is unusual. I think Simon needs to review the tape.

Phil Stacey: Blaze of Glory and he saaaaaaaaaang it. Phil better be safe.

Randy: Dawg, you rocked that dawg. That was the bomb. I love it, blah, blah, something about Journey, blah, blah.

Paula: You are so special, can I be your baby momma? I like Cheetos.

Simon: I liked it but I think you suck most of the time. Have a good trip home.

I think during the commercial break the judges went out a smoked some of Paula's crack.

Jordin Sparks: Living on a Prayer. I dug it and I dig her. That girl is gonna be a star and she deserves to be one.

Randy: Dawgette, uh you don't like rock do you? Cuz, that sucked.

Paula: You are so pretty. Blah, blah, blah.

Simon: Your hair is stupid and that song sucked.

Lakisha: This Ain't A Love Song. Kiki's back people. Girlfriend better not be going home.

Randy: Man, she' back. A little bit pitchy but it was good.

Paula: You gave us a little somethin'. Blah, blah, blah.

Simon: Oh Kiki I could kiss you. And he did. Did the chubby girl give Simon a chubby?

Blake Lewis: You Give Love A Bad Name. He totally reworked the song, threw in some beat box and my family was on their feet. Dean and Jake were like "Play it again!!!!!" (I played it again and again). Bon Jovi was all, "don't screw up my song". Note to Bon Jovi: we like that song better Blake's way.

Randy: DAWG! You ROCK! Most original version of a song on AI, ever.

Paula: Amazing.

Simon: You did the right thing and took a massive risk. It was good.

Chris Richardon: Wanted Dead or Alive. Big mistake. Daughtry did this last year and this guy is no Chris Daughtry. I predict this is the last song this guy sings in this competition.

Randy: It wasn't too bad.

Paula: ???????????

Simon: Bye, bye.

Melinda Doolittle: Have A Nice Day. Shrek-ette can bring it. This girl doesn't have a bad night.

Randy: A young Tina Turner.

Paula: You're a rock star.

Simon: You are in a different league

As far as I'm concerned, it was Blake's night. My prediction is that Chris and Lakisha are gone. Dial Idol agrees with me except they have Jordin ranked first and Blake second. Blake was definitely first.

Okay, I'm back.

Was tonight a surprise? I don't think so.

Here are my notes more or less as I wrote them while watching:

I'm not a big Gibb Brothers fan and never have been. This night is probably gonna suck.

Man that episode sucked.

What did you think? Any comment on the last two numbers?

She was wonderful, but:

Lakisha goes home.

I'll miss her. She was wonderful wasn't she?

Well this is it, Jordin or Blake. My favorite Melinda is gone but that's okay, she's going to go on to great things anyway--simply no doubt. These last two are very good, and very different. I dig them both.

Hey, is that a Confederate General's jacket Randy's wearing? If so I think that's very cool. I like it when people look at the past and send a message that they're not mad about it anymore.

By the way, I'm not gonna make fun of the judges tonight because it's not cool to make fun of Paula because she's hurt. 10 point penalty for snarkiness!

Anyway, this looks to be a fun night. I'm watching it on DVR delay so I'll update it as I go, just as the last one of the season:

Blake starts: I love his version of "Shot to the Heart." Good way to start off on a strong foot, Blake. That's the song that really established you as different. I wonder if the guys in Bon Jovi have decided they might actually like it too....

More updates as they come in...

*Update*: Jordin chooses an astonishing number--a rock number! And a really ballsy one too. I don't even know the song but she's hitting it out of the park.

*Update*: Blake chooses another song I don't like and again takes a chance (both artists are taking chances tonight obviously) and chooses something soft and tender with some nice falsetto. Cool.

*Update*: Jordin does a country number. Holy cow this girl really wants to win. "With A Broken Wing." Very nicely delivered.

*Update*: Blake picks another torch song I don't know. He does a good job. Doesn't blow me away.

*Update*: Jordin is beautiful, fragile, and strong. I think she just won.

*Final Update*: I think my brother Michael doesn't get it as usual, and like most people who constantly and endlessly crap all over this show, he misses the point. Maybe it's the word "Idol" that makes him sarcastic, I don't know. This is nothing but a singing competition, and part of the value of a competition is that you watch the whole competition and get to know the competitors and watch what happens. Judging this show or any like it by tuning in to the final is exactly like deciding what you think of football by tuning in to the Superbowl and deciding you know all you need to know about the game based on whatever Superbowl game you happen to see.

Jordin obviously won. Those were great performances tonight from competitors who've fought their way every step to get where they are. If you can't appreciate it, stop bothering my brother. If you aren't into watching people grow and develop and fail and succeed and overcome their difficulties or go through "the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat," you're missing 90% of the entertainment value of the whole enterprise. You just are.