I see Reverend Sensing has weighed in on the declining birth rate.
It's interesting to me that he refers to men who want sex without marriage as "rotters," but gives no thought to something else that's been common in this society: the systematic denigration of men in general and fathers in particular, visible every day in television commercials and countless TV shows.
Three years ago Wendy McElroy wrote about men on strike from marriage. And why shouldn't young men want to avoid it? Despite the stereotypes, women are three times as likely to initiate divorce proceedings as men are. The courts in much of the country still routinely treat men as nothing but convenient wallets from which to suck child support without any visitation enforcement. Men who complain about abusive spouses are still usually laughed at, and false allegations of abuse are rarely prosecuted.
Indeed, one of the most common phrases is to tell a man he's a "lucky guy" to have his wife. Oh really? I see. So men are basically losers who luck into getting decent women eh? Am I the only one who's tired of that sexist schtick?
I have a good friend at work who's going through a divorce. His wife has falsely accused him of physical abuse, which everone who knows him can tell is practically impossible. She's tried to get 100% full custody with him given no visitation rights at all, in a divorce he didn't even want. It's nearly destroying him.
Yet he's a man, and as such he's presumed guilty of all assertions against him. Honestly, really, when men are treated so poorly, so contemptuously, by so much of society when it comes to marriage, why should they want to get hitched? They don't need to get married to have kids. Financially they're probably taking less risk if they avoid getting married. In many cases, a man is a fool to get married and to risk losing more than half of everything if his wife decides she's tired of him--and again, I note that the vast majority of divorces are initiated by the woman anyway; the "First Wives Club" is a Hollywood myth.
Today, as a group, men are 1) Chronically lagging girls in reading skills and grades in school, from primary grades all the way through college 2) Far more likely to flunk out or drop out of high school 3) Far more likely never to go to college at all, and more likely to drop out if they do go to college 4) Far more likely to wind up in jail 5) Far more likely to wind up substance addicted 6) Far more likely to be unemployed 7) Far more likely to commit suicide, and 8) Far more likely to suffer work-related fatality than women.
And, of course, far more likely to be left by their spouse than vice versa. Young men for the most part do not feel valued, and do not feel respected.
It has been noted for quite some time that there is an ongoing crisis for young men in America. Yet the question is, why aren't more of them willing to get married? Well honestly, isn't that the wrong question? Shouldn't the real question be, why should they want to get married? Is there anything in it for them besides buying an expensive ring and being told how lucky they are?
I speak as a married man, one who loves his wife. Yet I know young men who have no desire whatsoever to take such a big risk as getting married, for what they perceive as very little reward. And telling them they're "rotters" if they don't want to take that risk certainly doesn't look like a way of motivating them to me. What, you're going to shame them into marriage? They'll flip you the finger and go back to playing Halo.
Where's the basic respect of and concern for young men here?
