Dishman (mail):
20 years ago, my family ran an online chat system.

We thought it would be a good opportunity for people who were deaf to interact, so we set up a demonstration at a local center. The results were horrifying. One of the people who tried it chose the name "Deaf Tom". Others responded similarly. They were choosing to let their deafness define them.

I think it comes down to individuation and how people define themselves. I don't think that defining oneself as handicapped or diseased is helpful.
1.27.2008 5:10pm
Candide (mail):
Your problem seems to be in part with the English Language.

It seems proper English requires people to use 'my' and 'mine' more often than most other languages. That's why English speakers say, "I took my shower" and, "I combed my hair". Saying, "I took a shower" probably still conveys the original meaning, but saying, "I combed hair" is completely confusing. However, most other languages allow to express the same idea very clearly without taking possession of the thing.

As a foreign speaker I find it utterly hilarious. Of course you took your shower! Who else's shower could you possibly take?!
1.27.2008 8:48pm
Sandi (www):
That's why English speakers say, "I took my shower" and, "I combed my hair".

I'm not sure if you mean UK English or USA English, but "my shower" sounds a little weird. Like maybe you took it on at someone's request.

If you google you will see that "my shower" is far less common than "a shower."

"I took a shower" 169,000 results
"I took my shower" 44,200 results

As for hair "my" is appropriate because I own it. An inherent part of me that I was born with, and a world away from claiming an ailment that I, or anyone else would sound foolish to want ownership of. And who's hair is important to avoid confusion. My hair? Daughters hair?
However, most other languages allow to express the same idea very clearly without taking possession of the thing.

On the contrary it's just as easy in English (USA) to say this diabetes instead of my diabetes.

Taking possession of an ailment I believe is just a bad habit that I don't think is very healthy.
1.27.2008 9:26pm
Candide (mail):
Sandi,

You may be right that excessive usage of 'my' and 'mine' is confined mostly to a certain demographic (suburban US, to be precise). Perhaps the same demographic is responsible for saying, "my diabetes", "my arthritis", etc. Perhaps it's just a habit of speech and nothing else.
1.28.2008 3:02am
Kevin D (mail) (www):
I thought it was always about owning the disease. That's to say, exert control over it, rather than feeling helpless as it exerts control over you.

It's not the same as saying you're responsible for contracting the ailment. But that you don't submit to it.
1.28.2008 12:25pm
Sandi (www):
Exactly Kevin
1.28.2008 12:54pm
Sigivald (mail):
The idea that Pfizer is making people sick by using the words "my [disease]" in commercials is...

Man, I don't even know if there's a polite way to say what I think about that idea, so I'll let the implication stand by itself.

Here in my world, though, people usually get, say, diabetes or asthma or cancer or heart disease for reasons other than the purely psychosomatic.

(And the idea that a disease of and in one's body is not "theirs" is a puzzling enough one in itself... whose is it, then?

Who does it primarily affect, which body is malfunctioning or being invaded by outside agents?

The person with the disease, of course; it is "theirs"; it is neither someone else's nor free-floating in the world unattached to them.

...

Plus, aren't all those breast cancer messages intended to get women to get checked early, and thus greatly increase their odds of survival? Breast cancer isn't caused by hearing about it - but detecting it might well be.)
1.28.2008 1:57pm
Sandi (www):
Sigivald,

I think perhaps you missed the point entirely.
1.28.2008 2:02pm
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