Dean's World

Chapter 38

Pennsylvania, April, 2005 CE

I opened my mouth but couldn’t think what to say. She turned and looked at me, answering the question I hadn’t asked.

“I never killed… for sport… again.” She said it flatly, matter-of-factly. But she was looking at me, a question in her eyes.

I stood up and walked to the bar next to her and poured myself a drink. I thought about stealing one of her cigarettes but thought better of it. I took a sip and then just looked at her. I didn’t know what to say, but for whatever reason, I wasn’t afraid of her anymore.

“So now you know the worst of me,” she said, finally. Her eyes were hollow and empty. She had a look in her eye I couldn’t quite make out. It wasn’t remorse and it wasn’t exactly a question. But she was watching me, looking for… for what?

“I think I need to go get my head around all of this,” I said, and put down my drink. She just nodded as I walked to the parlor door. I picked up the recorder and snapped it off as I reached the door, then turned and said, “You know I’m not really a religious guy,” not sure what I meant to say.

She just nodded calmly and took another drag off her cigarette.

“But you were right about one thing, I did grow up religious, and I guess… I guess I do believe in redemption.” I wasn’t sure she’d like that, but it’s what came out of me.

She just stared and then did something strange. She turned and poured herself another drink and stared at it, then looked at me and smiled gently. She gestured with the drink in her hand.

“In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus sancti,” she said, delivering it like a benediction. Then she tossed the drink back, and swallowed it down. “Bless you and thank you, but this is all I need.” She poured herself another drink, then leaned back on the bar, watching and waiting for me to leave. Her smile was gentle, but her eyes were far away. It was almost like I was already gone.

I shook my head. “Sleep well,” I said.

I made my way upstairs to the guest bedroom and lay down on the bed, thinking but trying not to think. I mean, what do you say to a story like that?

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Commenting on Dean's World is a privilege, not a right. Dean is your host, you are his guest, and you should behave in that fashion. Dean is not your babysitter, nor is he your punching bag. Please remember this. In general, you are free to disagree with anyone on any subject you wish, but abusive behavior will not be tolerated.

Of course we all lose our tempers now and then. Dean freely admits to being imperfect in this regard, which is why regulars to this establishment will generally be cut more slack than people who we don't know very well.

Still: behave like an adult, or go find somewhere else to play. Thanks.