Kevin's Writing A Book
Kevin D.
Some time ago, when the world was young and WHAM! was all the rage (maybe not that long ago), Mr. Dean Esmay and Mr. John Eddy were working on a book. We all know what this book is now. When they neared the end, if memory serves, I offered my services to adapt the book into a screenplay. Having known Dean personally I went to get to know Mr. Eddy better. He's a fine man and a one I enjoy each and every conversation with to this day (though they are less frequent than in the past). During one of our discussions we got to talking about his original ideas for the story. As I'm sure both he and Dean will happily tell you, he leaned more toward the fantastic than realistic. The protagonist of his original story was the last elf.
When he told me this it was like something blew up in my brain and it shifted into 20th gear (I know there isn't a 20th gear. But I live in the 21st Century where cars fly and people use jetpacks to get to work. So don't bog me down with your quaint "manual transmission.") I couldn't stop thinking about those three words, "the last elf."
Now, John told me nothing more of his original premise than this. So, there wasn't a case to plagiarism to be made if I went forward with my ideas without running it by him. Still, I felt I needed his permission to do what I wanted to do with those three little words. It was because of him that a seed I had been watering finally began to germinate and I needed to acknowledge that.
So, I did and he did. Then I began work on my own novel. I wanted to write a children's book. An update to the Narnia tale, if you would. Something like a spiritual successor. Most of my stories have an allegorical stripe running through them and my love for both The Chronicles of Narnia and The Lord of the Rings gave me a good foundation on how to get it done and done right.
But, as I began development the story changed (as the bloody ungrateful things are wont to do). And it became apparent to me that the story wasn't so much for children as young adults. So much the better, I decided. This allowed me to tackle more adult themes and really bend my characters over (as a writer is wont to do to his ungrateful stories). Then came the part I was dreading:
Writing narrative fiction is hard!
One other the reasons I tend to like screenplays is because it was something that came easy to me. It was good and fast at it. I loved writing dialogue over flowery descriptions and I could plainly say what something was. It's a lot easier to write, "Tommy goes up a hill and looks at a big old tree," than, "Tommy crested the hill, his legs burning from the effort, sweat beginning to bead on his brow and back, and his gaze fell upon the ancient tree he recalled from his youth. Still gnarled and scarred from the abuses of storms history had long since forgotten but time still recalled as if it were yesterday."
See, pain in the old rear end. I'm just so much happier saying, "Look! It's a tree! Woohoo!"
So, I did what all good writers do and I procrastinated. Suddenly stuff that didn't really matter to me became very important if it meant I had to spend one more second at the keyboard not saying what I really want to say in the way I want to say it.
But now its siren's call beckons me back. I see the rocks ahead, the broken masts of other fools littering the waters, and still I listen. I need to write this darned thing.
Why am I telling you all this? Glad you asked! I'd like to post chapters and excerpts from time to time and get some feedback. And, if some o0f you really like what you see, maybe you'll bug me to write more if I get strangely silent.
Now, the story is, as I said, allegorical. And from the Narnia references you should be able to gather that it's Christological. So, if you think writing about Christian themes is tantamount to writing about the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and you can't separate that from honest feedback, I'd rather you not get involved. I'm not writing something you're going to like so why waste my time and yours?
But if you all are interested I'd like to do that. What say you?
Other than that concern, it's a fine idea. Some authors have had good success with this model.
Thank you for your concern. I appreciate that.
If people wish to criticize my beliefs, then so be it. Should the work get published people will do that anyway and they're free to.
However, I want to give those people that will disagree the oppertunity to be civil. I've made it clear that if they only wish to do that their energy is better spent elsewhere.
Believe it or not I like just about everyone on Dean's World and value their opinion. Even those I vehemently disagree with. As the saying goes, some of my best friends I vehemently disagree with on a lot of things.
I had a female friend where we'd get into near-screaming matches over politics and religion and, at the end, we'd go out for pizza and and have a grand time together. It drove her boyfriend nuts because he couldn't understand how we could do that.
So, I'm much more open to harsh criticism from people I know genuinely care for me. I can take a "Fuck you, you dumb fucking prick," from a friend if I know that there's more to the relationship than that.
And there are a few people here I respect that much to be willing to take that from because I've gotten a good indication where their heart is.
If readers want to criticise my beliefs using my fictional writing, well, I'll give what they have to say the once over. If it's being said in the right heart, I'll take it to heart. If not, well, they're wasting their time.
If you mean that -- if you're sure you really mean that -- then go for it. This is a crowd that will challenge, and challenge makes the work better.
Don't worry, Aziz, we're back to Rome next chapter ;)
john, about frakkin time!
That is, it is one of the things I do. And I've done it for a long time in a non-fictional sense (pun intended).
I'll be happy to criticize the work, if I see something worth critiquing.
I'm though gonna say some things I don't expect to be very popular round here.
So what, and so be it. That's the way I am.
I wouldn't put anything I intend to sell on the internet. You'll have a much harder time publishing it later with anyone who has a chance of scoring you a real contract that will really pay. You can trust me or not on that, but I personally wouldn't do that kinda thing, and so I don't.
I will publish small extracts of prior writings that have already been published, as long as my publishing rights are retained or I get permission, but the internet is free. Just think about that really hard for about twenty seconds. Then you think about whether this is something you intend to profit with from the experience, or something you intend to profit with through a paycheck.
If it's a paycheck, then find another way. There is more than one way to skin a cat. Find a small group of people you trust to review and critique it, or put it on some obscure website that most publishers will have a hard time finding, and then disguise it as something else. Put it here if you want, it'll get a lot of views possibly, that's also why few publishers will touch it, unless you just offer small extracts to generate interest or you plan on rewriting it very heavily for later publication. If this is something you're gonna seriously put a lot of time, effort, and work into then plan on taking pay out of it. Otherwise when you are older and say to yourself, "Damnit, I could have been paid for that, and look at all the time and effort I wasted giving that son'sabitch away," then just remember, I told ya so. And I am. Right now.
The internet has a certain allure, it provides immediate feedback. But it does not pay. Do not confuse popularity with profit, publication, pay, and professionalism. Running ideas across the internet is one thing, running works across them is another. If you intend to make a living as a real writer, that is a professional, paid one, the internet is the last place to be. (The internet is probably the most fanatic tool ever invented for making contacts, for networking, for advertising, it is a piss-poor one for making a living by direct, public exposure of your work. Give a film away on the internet and it's gone. Time wasted, all of it, money made, none. Advertise it there and you can make a killing. But first you must understand the difference in those two very different approaches.) The internet is the place to put writing you do not really intend to sell. Or do not care about selling. If you want to be a professional writer then there is a particular way to go about that, which will take research, work, patience, and determination - if on the other hand you want to be an internet writer, and there are millions and millions of them, then do that, but do not delude yourself with the illusion that kinda thing will magic-up pay. The internet in this respect is a lot like rock cocaine, you get, and you score, and the turnover between what you want and what you have is pretty quick. But you're bleeding money the whole time, you ain't investing for the future. So if you want immediate payback, and don't care about whoring yourself to score, come here and give your shit away. By the bucketloads. But if you want pay, instead of squandering yours, go to people that pay. If you want eyes and a whole lotta talk about how you suck as a writer, and some more about how you are the next Hugo, and some more about, "you can be really good when you try," or, "I just lobe what you've done here," then go to the internet. You'll get plenty of everything and even more probably from people who have stunted opinions in most every direction, and if you're lucky you may even get the occasional and very insightfully brilliant comment. One that might actually do you some good. But basically, and realistically, that will very likely be the entire extent of your reward, both as a professional, and as a creative, writer.
You will say things, others will say things about what you say, and when it's all said and done, nothing else will have changed at all. And that's the way it is, and will be.
Now, that being said, if this is what will satisfy you, then please carry on.
If not, find another, and more profitable venue.
In either case I think your story idea has some allure, and if properly executed, could be a very nice vehicle, both as a story and as an allegorical and symbolic effort.
I'll read it if you wanna put it up here and I'll tear you a new asshole (metaphorically speaking) if it stinks, and if it is any good then I'll probably tell you that's good kid, now rewrite that mutha three or four more times and you can be start to be satisfied with what you're doing.
One word of advice, though really this whole post has been advice, and so take it or leave it as you will, don't let even your first draft be as sloppy and shitfaced as your post about this whole thing on the main page. When it comes to commenting on the internet, I have no trouble with people making a whole slew of grammatical and spelling errors that they should have easily caught, or, God help them, Word should have caught had the thing ever been designed right. It is after all, only the internet. But if you're gonna be a professional writer, then clean your shit up and make it presentable. Even your first draft should look more like a polished High School term paper than a modern poet's speculations on how his coffee cup is really a shallow bowl holding the secrets of the universe. Calm down, and don't let your excitement exceed your discipline. Writing, anything of any length that is, is a lot more like running a marathon (and I used to run marathons til getting busted up) than a sprint. You can and should get all jacked up for a sprint, ready to explode with excitement. Muscles all a'quiver. With a marathon though, get cold, get very, very cold and methodical and focused, and patient, like you're hunting a man to ground. One foot closer every day. Like you're out to kill. Then stay that way, for as long as it takes. In the end you get the bear, not the other way around.
If you're gonna do anything professionally Kev, then do it right. Do it professionally, take your time, clean up after yourself, correct mistakes, sniff out errors, kill them when you find them. You'll never find them all but at least pretend like you're looking with the intention of a real kill. And get up every day and hunt again. And then tomorrow, there's another target.
So if you're in this for the real work, not just the momentary excitement, then you're in til it is actually done. You're in for the kill.
So good luck, Godspeed, and God I hate Wham.
I think it would be a great idea. Though I think John can attest I have no taste for literature!
I dread hearing what you have to say but, unlike most people I know, I think Gordon Ramsay and Simon Cowell know what they hell they're talking about and even if they come off as abrasive you'd better damn well listen. When or if they do praise you it's that much more meaningful because you've earned it.
So, yeah... I guess that's all I've got to say.
I think that's wise. Personally, I'd only post the most well-written sections of any chapter I intend to post, and then get feedback on how well written it is (which is a different matter on how good the story is, but if you can be both well written and good). Then don't resolve the chapters you write, but instead leave cliff-hangers of the best parts. This will generate readership interest without abolishing interest on the part of a real publisher. Do what you want, and you will of course, but that's just my advice.
You know I don't intend to be abrasive, just realistic. Brtually frank. But I'm not afraid of being abrasive either if I think it might actually help someone. And I guess that's partly my personality, and partly my past training. But better a man who hates me and lives through what I train him about, that one who loves me and doesn't.
Tom Wolfe tore me a new asshole once over my poetry and some of my other writings (and I sure deserved it, I was a pretentious, arrogant snit convinced of my own genius merely because a lot of other people kept telling me I was one), and he turned me into a pretty good poet as a result of his work-over. Made me start all over in the right way, not the modern way.
Yeah, I was shocked at the time, and mad, and scared too (I was just a snot nosed kid after all) cause he made me realize I didn't know near as much as I thought I did about near as much as he really did. He also told me, coincidentally, in so many words, "dread makes a man good at what he does, inspiration doesn't." Which, following on from that is to say, inspiration makes a man reckless if that is all he has, but precision and determination and practice and skill makes a man professional. And you earn determination and practice and precision and skill. God gives talent, but men sharpen that blade, or they let it rust. And the man with the fanciest blade is rarely the best swordsman. That takes practice too, and remembering that it's not a game, and if you think it is, then remember that when your throat is slit open by the fella who knows what a swordfight is really all about.
So it's good to be scared if you're really serious. Anything worth doing is worth doing like your life depends on it. One day it just might.
Don't let that stop you, of course. If you're really serious then don't let anything stop you.
But if you're gonna be good, really, really good, that don't come easy. But it will come if you really, really mean it.
So, by all means, really mean it.
Ryan
you're supposed to be doing it for fun and profit!!
Of course we all lose our tempers now and then. Dean freely admits to being imperfect in this regard, which is why regulars to this establishment will generally be cut more slack than people who we don't know very well.
Still: behave like an adult, or go find somewhere else to play. Thanks.