Well, that's the problem. Nobody is. A "poster child," that is. The system warps and nudges, both parties turn into caricatures of their former selves, and sooner or later the guy will do something, and everybody says, "Aha! We always said men are pigs, and there's one right here."
Had Nicole left a similar message (and I have no doubt this is likely to have happened) the news media wouldn't even have been interested. Even if they were, everybody would have said, "Poor dear, under such stress, look what he made her do!"
Stace, I agree. Being angry because the system has misused you is one thing, taking it out on your preteen daughter is another. I consider it verbal abuse, and it's on tape so he can't deny it. He can blame it on society, but it's baloney. Society didn't make him be selfish, insensitive and abusive to his daughter - he chose that course.
Some might say I would have done the same had I been "pushed to my limit", but I reject that completely. I think he was a far cry from being at his limit, unless he is actually mentally unstable (which might excuse what he did providing someone acts to correct his mental instability).
This is not even close to a gender issue. It's just an abusive, selfish, self-indulgent, immature, spoiled brat pushing the burden of his inability to handle his personal life onto the shoulders of his 11 year old little girl. Unbelievable that this would generate sympathy from anyone.
You can't convince me that he had no other recourse but to leave that message to his little girl. Wrong is wrong, and to defend it will hurt the movement, at least in the eyes of some.
Forget about putting yourself in his shoes. Or the mother's. Put yourself in the shoes of the 11 year old and tell me that it's still excusable. His actions are despicable.
I’m hoping this isn’t too late – I’m working this weekend, and haven’t had any time to keep caught up online.
I think that making any kind of value judgment of anyone’s character, based on a snippet of conversation is at best, unfair.
The truly despicable person in this mess is whoever made this private message available to the public, so perfect strangers with no knowledge of the individuals involved would have knee-jerk reactions and say nasty things they would probably not ever say about someone they knew.
It was nothing more than a cheap attempt at manipulation – a PR gambit, if you will. These kinds of things happen so often in divorces that my initial reaction was just to wonder if it was a chance thing that somebody capitalized upon, or something that had been orchestrated over time.
I still have no actual opinion on the character of either party involved. I figure it’s none of my business. BTW – I think I had the wrong name for ex-Mrs. Baldwin there in my previous comment. Sorry about that! It’s Kim Basinger in this one.
4.29.2007 12:11am
Commenting on Dean's World is a privilege, not a right. Dean is your host, you are his guest, and you should behave in that fashion. Dean is not your babysitter, nor is he your punching bag. Please remember this. In general, you are free to disagree with anyone on any subject you wish, but abusive behavior will not be tolerated.
Of course we all lose our tempers now and then. Dean freely admits to being imperfect in this regard, which is why regulars to this establishment will generally be cut more slack than people who we don't know very well.
Still: behave like an adult, or go find somewhere else to play. Thanks.
Had Nicole left a similar message (and I have no doubt this is likely to have happened) the news media wouldn't even have been interested. Even if they were, everybody would have said, "Poor dear, under such stress, look what he made her do!"
Some might say I would have done the same had I been "pushed to my limit", but I reject that completely. I think he was a far cry from being at his limit, unless he is actually mentally unstable (which might excuse what he did providing someone acts to correct his mental instability).
This is not even close to a gender issue. It's just an abusive, selfish, self-indulgent, immature, spoiled brat pushing the burden of his inability to handle his personal life onto the shoulders of his 11 year old little girl. Unbelievable that this would generate sympathy from anyone.
You can't convince me that he had no other recourse but to leave that message to his little girl. Wrong is wrong, and to defend it will hurt the movement, at least in the eyes of some.
Forget about putting yourself in his shoes. Or the mother's. Put yourself in the shoes of the 11 year old and tell me that it's still excusable. His actions are despicable.
Linda
I think that making any kind of value judgment of anyone’s character, based on a snippet of conversation is at best, unfair.
The truly despicable person in this mess is whoever made this private message available to the public, so perfect strangers with no knowledge of the individuals involved would have knee-jerk reactions and say nasty things they would probably not ever say about someone they knew.
It was nothing more than a cheap attempt at manipulation – a PR gambit, if you will. These kinds of things happen so often in divorces that my initial reaction was just to wonder if it was a chance thing that somebody capitalized upon, or something that had been orchestrated over time.
I still have no actual opinion on the character of either party involved. I figure it’s none of my business. BTW – I think I had the wrong name for ex-Mrs. Baldwin there in my previous comment. Sorry about that! It’s Kim Basinger in this one.
Of course we all lose our tempers now and then. Dean freely admits to being imperfect in this regard, which is why regulars to this establishment will generally be cut more slack than people who we don't know very well.
Still: behave like an adult, or go find somewhere else to play. Thanks.